I am on a fast until...

I am going the Anna Hazare way. Shh. I shouldn't say that. I am fighting for my rights. For our rights. Since the past two decades or so we have suffered enough. By we I mean bloggers. We have written millions of articles. Researched for a lot of them. Emailed it to so many friends that we ended up in their spam lists. We worked hard so that people would have quality blogs to read. We put effort into each blog.

What do we get in return?

2-3 'nice post' comments. An occasional interesting comment. Sometimes not even that. The blog gets lost in the online universe. Never to be seen again. Add to this the fact that research has shown that only 5% of the people who read online blogs actually write one. So for every 20 people in the online world, there is just one person who writes and the rest just read stuff! Sometimes we even go to the extent of pasting random emails as blogs. It takes effort. 

We have remained quite for a long time now. I have finally decided to get inspired by Anna and fast for our rights. 

Fight for our 'Right to be Appreciated'. 

I am going on a fast right after dinner and I will not end it as long as all my demands are met. I am pretty serious. I am even wearing a gandhi topi and white clothes. 

We have the following demands:

1. Google should rank my blog as the best among all blogs from India. my page rank should be highest. 

2. Everyone should compulsorily read my blog and comment on it or like it or tweet about it or +1 it. 

3. Everyone who comes online has to be compulsorily directed to my blog. 

4. My blog should be even more important than the president's and the prime minister's blog. 

5. The views expressed in my blog should be be like Caesar's wife. Above suspicion. 

6. My blog's link should the first link to come up whenever anyone searches anything online.
7. This particular blog post should get 500+ facebook likes and 200 +1's and should be RT-ed by 1000 people. 

I am not ready to compromise on any of these demands. It's been a long time since I have been writing to Google about the importance of my blog but I have not received any reply. This is just preposterous. 

I will be sitting online on Gtalk with my 4 trusted followers. I am sure we will get the support of thousands of bloggers who we will portray as lakhs. Let the google guys come and talk to us directly. We will suggest a 'Right to Bullshit' Amendment in their publishing rules and hence make our reign supreme. 

Our timing is perfect, EPL has not warmed up yet and Indian team has lost to England. Everything is planned. See on Gtalk. 

P.S. - Please do not call me by my real name. Nick names are cooler. Henceforth, refer to me as Napster Baba. My core team should be called the Nappies. #likeaboss

Yes I have taken this photos from somewhere else. No, I will not tell you from where. Sue me, bitch!

Anna Hazare is like an Old Lady

Okay, before you go all hyper on me, read the entire post.

This is a story someone told me yesterday. It's relevant to the current fast-ing trend. I hope you find it interesting.

Once upon a time in a small village there was a wealthy merchant. His son. his only child, was to be married. He started looking for a bride. An old lady in the village heard about this. She devised a(n) (evil?) plan.

Next day she sat in front of the merchant's house and declared that she will not eat anything until and unless the merchant marries his young son to her. Everyone in the village was surprised. All of them knew she was being unreasonable. Most of them laughed her off. Almost no one took her seriously.

A few days passed but the old lady was adamant. She had become very weak. The people in the village started getting anxious. Now they were asking the merchant to marry his young son to the old lady just so that she would end her fast.

The merchant obviously did not want it to happen so he was very worried. He offered the old lady money but she refused it. He offered the old lady a house to live and a lot of luxuries but she refused. He tried everything but the old lady refused to budge. The villagers started supporting her just on humanitarian grounds. The merchant was under tremendous pressure.

One day, a man came to the merchant and said that he could make the old lady go away if the merchant wanted. The merchant was surprised. He told the man that he did not to force the old lady into anything neither did he want to beat her up or kidnap her or something. The man said that he had a plan and through it, the old lady would voluntarily go away. The merchant agreed.

Next morning, the old lady was gone. Everyone including the merchant was surprised. The merchant went to the man who had made this possible. He asked him how he managed to convince the old lady to leave. The man smiled.

He said he found a person who had leprosy. He asked that person to go to the old lady and tell her that if she did not marry him then he would not eat anything and hence go on a fast himself. The old lady understood that her plan had been foiled and so she left.

Moral of the story: [It depends on individual perception of the story. Find your own learnings.] :)

P.S. - If you can't relate this story to the fast done by Anna Hazare then you can take the heading of the post as an independent statement and blast your comments based on that.

Cheers

A